Beberapa Minggu Menjelang Ulang Tahun

Ada yang biasa saya alami menjelang datangnya hari hulang tahun. Pengalaman ini bisa jadi tidak sama bagi semua orang, dan paling tidak inilah yang saya rasakan spesifik dari sejak saya usia 56 tahun. Secara sekilas ada gunanya saya jadikan ini sebagai renungan bagi diri saya.

Menjelang ulang tahun, saya kerap mengalami tiga hal yang datang sejak usia 56 tahun. Keadaan yang seolah saya terbatas hanya satu demi satu yang mampu dilakukan. Ada rasa dimana saya ingin melakukan hanya sedikit aktivitas, lainnya untuk istirahat. Dan ketiga ada rasa kekuranggesitan jika dibanding dengan usia 30-an.

Pertama, keadaan yang saya seolah terbatas hanya satu demi satu tang mampu dilakukan. Jika di masa masih mudah dulu, saya biasa menyiapkan kerja antara dua sampai lima pekerjaan, yang semua dapat dilakukan dengan cepat secara berurutan. Namun, sekarang saya bisanya menyelesaikan satu selesai, diedit dengan baik, baru diproses lanjut. Tenaga diarahkan ke dalam satu yang utuh, ke arah lebih paripurna.

Kedua, ada rasa dimana saya ingin melakukan hanya sedikit aktivitas, sedang yang lain untuk istirahat. Di sini, biar sedikit kalau mau dilakukan yang dilakukan itu dengan yang terbaik, waktu lainnya untuk dijadikan jedah. Kerja itu yang terbaik adalah diselesainya walaupun hanya satu, bukan dibanyaknya.

Ketiga, ada rasa kekuranggesitan jika dibanding dengan usia 30-an. Jika disadari bahwa usia di atas 56 tahun adalah sudah termasuk usia tua. Di usia ini, kita sudah tidak bisa terus-menerus lari dalam rentang yang panjang, tetapi berjalan gesit dalam rentang panjang pada umumnya masih bisa dilakukan. Jelasnya, sudah ada keterbatasan karena terjadinya penuaan.

Pendek kata, menjelang ulang tahun saya merasakan adanya getaran batin diri yang berisi sinyal bahwa diri ini sudah semakin tua, tetapi masih tetap memiliki daya. Semua ini harus tetap disyukuri kepada Allah Swt (Erfan S, 6-6-2014).

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