“Bercinta” atau Budhu’: Kunci Mudah Hidup Kaya?
Pada awal Desember 2014 ini, kita dikejutkan oleh hasil penelitian di suatu universitas. Yaitu penelitian yang mengaitkan antara banyaknya hubungan dalam bercinta dengan kekayaan di Angelina Ruskin University. Tepatnya, bahwa durasi bercinta bisa memengaruhi harta kekayaan kita.
Diuraikan, bahwa pasangan suami istri yang bercinta [baca bisa berbadan] setidaknya empat kali dalam seminggu, memiliki penghasilan lebih tinggi ketimbang pasangan yang bercinta kurang dari empat kali. Dinyatakan oleh Dr. Nick Drykdakis, pemrakarsana (Kompas, 5-11-2014), kurang bercinta membuat meningkatnya perasaan cemas, kesepian, ketakutan, dan berakhir pada kemungkinan menderita depresi. Tentu, konflik emosional bisa memberikan dampak buruk pada performa kerja di kantor.
“Manusia, kata Drykdakis, memiliki kebutuhan dasar yaitu makan, minum, tidur, dan tentu saja seks. Nah, faktor-faktor tersebut bisa memengaruhi kesuksesan dan kerja mereka,” lanjut Drykdakis.
Dilaporkan, bahwa penelitiannya itu melibatkan 7.500 responden dengan kisaran usia antara 26-50 tahun. Masing-masing memberikan data lengkap seputar kesihatan, aktivitas seksual, pekerjaan, dan penghasilan. Kemudian setelah menganalisis seluruh responden para peneliti pun menyimpulkan, bahwa pasangan yang bercinta empat kali dalam seminggu memiliki lima persen lebih tinggi. Lalu, mereka yang tidak melakukan hubungan seks sama sekali ditemukan mendapatkan penghasilan 3 persen lebih rendah…….. dst.
Konsep Sedekah
Tulisan ini tidak ingin melihat hasil penelitian Dr Drykdakis dari segi berapa kali seseorang harus bercintanya agar hidup kita kaya, namun berusaha mengaitkannya dengan konsep sedekah yang dari banyak bersedekah memudahkan seseorang mendongkrak kekayaan.
Islam mengajarkan kepada pemeluknya untuk hidup sehat. Sedang untuk sehat, selain memperhatikan unsur makan dan minum juga harus memperhatikan urusan kontak biologis dan psikologis antara seorang yang lain. Termasuk, urusan begitu-begituan (kata kawan-kawan yang malu menyebutkan “bercinta” dan urusan “dukhul” kata kawan-kawan).
Maka, banyak sahabat terperangah……., ketika Rasulullah saw menguraikan konsep sedekah biologis yang mesti dipenuhi oleh pasangan suami istri dalam berkeluarga. Rasulullah bersabda, Wafii Budh’i Ahadikum Shadaqah. Artinya, “Dalam hal melakukan bersebadan [budhu’] pada pasangan suami istri di antara kalian adalah sedekah.”
Pernyataan hadis di atas rasanya asing. Sahabat sempat terperangah, ketika Nabi saw menyabdakan sesuatu yang mengait dengan kontaks suami istri. Seolah terbersit di pikiran mereka, masak ia hubungan begitu saja disebut sedekah. Apa iya sih? Eeh, kok…hebat ya…
Hadis di atas, dahulunya belum ada yang merespons dengan serius. Namun belakangan, di pelbagai kesempatan, termasuk di forum-forum pelaporan penelitian sering disebut-sebut mengenai “bercinta” hal ini sering merupakan topik hangat. Yang dalam bahasa agama disebut dengan istilah budhu’ (Bahasa Arab mengenai berhubungan sebadan, atau ber-senggama).
Bersedekah: Kunci Hidup Kaya
Bagi kita yang sudah sering mendengar uraian para kiai atau para da’i mengenai fadhilah sedekah, hasil penelitian di atas ada relevansinya dengan konsep sedekah. Namun, nuansanya terasa lebih greng ketika itu bersentuhan dengan sedekah biologis yang khas. Mengapa khas? Yaitu karena ini hanya berlaku bagi kelas masyarakat yang sudah terjalin dalam hubungan suami istri.
Misalnya, dalam hubungan suami istri, bercinta atau bersebadan adalah merupakan nafakah batin. Dikatakan sedekah karena nafakah batin itu bukan sekadar pekerjaan rutin, melainkan suatu tugas mulia yang menyehatkan, plus …. kata hasil penelitian…. mengkayakan.
Dalam islam, setiap sedekah itu memiliki logika yang jelas: bahwa ia termasuk share bagi sesama, amal baik yang untuknya ia diberi pahala.
Jadi, ketika dihubungkan kepada pasangan suami istri pun, ia tetap akan mengena. Memiliki relevansi yang jelas. Dalam konteks sedekah yang berpahala, tidak ada yang rugi. Bisa rugi — kalau hubungan bersebadan itu boros.
Kadar Bercinta Jangka Panjang
Karena orang bersedekah tidak hanya sekali, yang tepat menurut pengamatan kami adalah dipikirkan realisasi bercinta atau bersebadan yang berjangka panjang. Agaknya, kok tidak semua orang siap untuk berhubungan seperti yang dijalani seperti oleh penganten baru itu.
Hubungan suami istri dalam arti bersebadan, perlu dipikirkan untuk bisa berjangka panjang, agar badan bisa awet dan sedekah bisa berlangsung dalam waktu yang lama. Karena alat yang digunakan untuk bercinta itu kalau digunakan terlalu boros bisa cepat kurang kemampuanya. Perlu dijaga agar tetap gagah. Maka perlu dilakukan dengan bijaksana, apa seminggu dua kali atau tiap empat hari sekali, atau minimal seminggu sekali, tetapi yang dilakukan dengan cara ikhlas dan dengan saling bersuasana memberi atau bersemangat. Nah, hubungan yang bersemangat itu akan lebih memicu kita untuk hidup senang, selalu bisa memenuhi kebutuhan diri terus bersedekah, membuat hidup ini punya gairah, dan mendatangkan inpirasi bagi menekuni kerja-kerja yang disuka sehingga pada gilirannya akan mudah mendatangkan kaya. Kaya rohani, juga kaya jasmani.
Bagaimana dengan pembaca yang sudah biasa bersedekah dalam hubungan suami istri. Sudahkah dijadwal hubungan bercinta kita dengan pasangan masing-masing yang rapi dan terjadwal baik sehingga mempermudah mendatangkan rezeki Allah yang berupa kekayaan rohaniah dan jasmaniah? (Erfan Soebahar)
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